Dealing with difficult people has great potential to be frustrating and unsettling. Whether it’s a work colleague, romantic partner, or a family member, embracing the most productive ways to handle difficult people will bring welcome and positive changes to your life.
It can hurt and it often proves challenging to remain calm when others say harmful and derogatory things towards you or another person. Learning to resist the urge to over-react and how to not take it personally will empower you. But it’s best not to respond or give into the inclination to do just that. Difficult people and situations will come up almost every day for the rest of our lives, so the only answer is to cultivate and adopt habits that make dealing with certain individuals just a little less taxing and toxic. We can’t change anyone’s behavior other than our own, but if we alter our beliefs, behaviors, and reactions, others have no choice but to respond in a variant way too.
Smile
It may seem like tired advice, but smiling is one of the best ways to disarm someone who’s disgruntled. A calming smile also has great potential to calm someone down if they’re agitated. If you or someone else is feeling frustrated, a simple smile improves the chance of provoking the upset party to relax a little. Smiling helps people feel calmer. People who are angry often over-analyze situations and this always makes the issues feel amplified. The next time you have an encounter with a difficult person, before reacting take a moment to breathe and smile. Even if it mitigates the situation only a little, that’s a win.
Choose Positive Thoughts
You can choose your thoughts the same way you can choose to put on clothes in the morning. By being thoughtful and mindful about what would help you arrive at the most positive place possible, you can instantaneously change your mood and mindset. By focusing on the positive aspects in others you’ll see the good characteristics first and foremost. When we zero in on someone’s negative qualities or traits, this often brings out the worst in us as well. Instead of giving all your energy to the judgment of others, simply focus on your own actions and choices. It doesn’t mean a confrontation won’t happen, but you’ll be much more in control of the narrative and outcome by choosing to think about solutions and choosing thoughts that are compassionate and empathetic.
Be a Kind Junkie
Being a kind junkie can change the world. With any kind act, whether we donate money to a charity, start a fundraiser, smile at a stranger, or drop what we’re doing to be present for a friend in crisis, the intention of doing something nice for another person helps the world. When you do something loving that impacts anyone in a positive way, it makes a real difference and it has a ripple effect. The more you practice doing gracious things, the easier and more compelling it becomes. When we practice kindness, we train our brains to learn what to think about when we are being sweet. When others do nice things for us, or when we do something kind for another person it releases endorphins, the chemicals that give off feelings of high spirits. It feels good to do good, and this includes not just our actions but our words, especially the words we choose not to say in the spirit of kindness.
At times, the motivation to become a kind junkie in a world of so much negativity will feel challenging. Gandhi said it best, “Be the change you want to see in the world.” By starting with yourself, choosing love over fear, and embracing the kind life, you will be inspiring others to do the same. Choosing kindness is one of the most efficient ways to love your life to the fullest.
