Survive a Travel Adventure

Kelly Wiglesworth had just returned from a 21-day tour rowing a 2,100-pound boat full of gear for a private Grand Canyon tour when her mother brought home an advertisement for Survivor. A professional whitewater rafter and a kayak guide on the Kern River, Wiglesworth was a born adventurer, so when she read the words: “Tiny island, 16 people, 1 million dollars, Borneo, Malaysia, Survive,” it was like a calling. She knew she had to do it.

“I had always wanted to travel, but never had the money, so I thought this would be a good way to explore the world,” says Wiglesworth. “No one in my family had really been anywhere or done anything, and I was always determined to have a more exciting life than them.”

As an adventure guide, she had led dozens of tours – whitewater rafting, backpacking, and snowboarding – but she was always protected with tents, water filters, and sleeping bags. This was an opportunity for Wiglesworth to prove to herself that she could live in the wild with nothing. And she ended up as one of the last two standing on CBS’s first Survivor.

“Change is always scary,” says Levine. “But we don’t know our potential until we try things that are new, different, and out of our comfort zone.”

For Wiglesworth, the real transformation came not when she traveled to a foreign country by herself (she had been embarking upon dangerous adventures for years), but when she came home. “When the show was over, I wanted to die,” says Wiglesworth. “I had been through so much mentally and physically and I didn’t win. It was a mean and horrible mind game.”

She came home thirty pounds lighter, sick with parasites, and exhausted from the trip. She put herself out there for the world to see and even though she felt like she had lost everything, the experience changed her life. Doors opened, and she walked through them. The world loved her. She worked for the E! Channel hosting travel adventure shows, appeared in countless magazines, walked the red carpet at the Emmy’s, and in a way, became America’s tough sweetheart. And along the way, she learned that losing isn’t all that bad.

“So many times it seemed easier to deal with the jungle than it was with society, money, and power – especially in Hollywood,” she says. Sure, traveling to Malaysia on her own and battling for her life was life-changing, but the greatest change in Wiglesworth came from learning she could lose and still survive.

Live Like You Were Dying

When you ask yourself, what’s the worst that can happen? Usually, the answer is death. “People who are primed to think about death actually have a moment of exhilaration that gives them some clarity about their life and what they want to pursue with the time they have left,” says Miller. Come out of the crisis a-okay, and you live more richly, more deeply, and more consciously – and that’s certainly what happened in my case.

I stopped working as hard and started playing harder. And instead of saving every penny I earned, I started spending money on things and experiences that brought me joy – even the occasional indulgence like a pedicure or massage. I took in more sunsets and spent more time with friends. What’s more, I learned that my tumor wasn’t malignant. It was “indeterminate” – benign on all counts – except for size.

“Many people with serious illnesses report that a health crisis enabled them to pause, see things from a different perspective, and reconsider their priorities,” says Levine. “Things that once seemed vague become clearer – more black and white. As a result, they become less aversive to risk.”

And while I wouldn’t recommend a life-threatening experience as a way to break out of your safety zone, it certainly worked for me. Now as I stand in the mirror looking at my eight-inch scar, I’m in awe of how the experience transformed me. Unlike my pre-surgery days, I’m living for today, taking chances and embracing life, the way most women do when they’re twenty-three!

Your Personal “How-To Guide” For Living On The Edge

Transformative journeys come in many forms. They can even happen without ever leaving home.

The important thing isn’t necessarily to travel or turn your world upside down – it’s to shift.

“Figure out your “freak-out point” in several areas – physically, emotionally, spiritually, and intellectually – and go past it once in the coming year just to prove to yourself that you have the ability to do it,” says Caroline Miller, MAPP, positive psychology and goal-setting specialist. Here are Miller’s top nine tips for living on the edge – and learning along the way.

1. Try every day to have the ratio of positive to negative thoughts/actions over 3 to 1 (also known as the Positivity Ratio, and going below it diminishes flourishing).

2. Do something kind every day for someone else, whether you want to or not.

3. Send an electronic e-card of gratitude to three people every single week (try www.gratitudeclub.com to get started).

4. Tell someone that you love them and why, and be specific. Deliver this message in person if possible.

5. Get a pedometer and walk at least 12,000 steps every day. Getting fit is one way to get outside your comfort zone more effectively.

6. Decide if your job is a job or a calling, and if it’s not a calling, and you are not in a state of “flow” at work, make a list of careers that you would like to explore and then take a week shadowing someone who does that.

7. Volunteer your time once a month instead of intending to volunteer – volunteering has been found to enhance gratitude and well-being and reduce stress hormones.

8. Join or form a Mastermind group that meets in person, once a month, to provide a fertile, positive setting for goal-setting and accountability.

9. Make a list of your life goals, paying attention to all different realms of life such as community and relationships, and always have three to five goals written down and in your pocket so that they are always nearby.

July/August 2008

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