I used to celebrate (or avoid) Valentine’s Day like a lot of people out there. Some years were bright, others dark. There was heartache, romantic mishaps and some very sweet moments too. But February 14th, 2003 changed Valentine’s Day forever. I was diagnosed with an incurable, stage IV cancer.
Life stopped, and then transformed. Valentine’s day is a very different celebration now. I call it my cancerversary, a day of deep self-love, reflection, gratitude and re-birth. It took me over a decade to get to that sacred place. But I’m here now and if you’re newly diagnosed wth cancer, trust that you will get there too.
Thankfully a kooky oncologist gave me the wrong expiration date. According to him, I should have croaked a while ago. Not so fast, hot shot! If you’ve been given one of those statistical projections, there’s an extremely good chance yours is wrong too. Once I found a better doctor for my disease, my entire world opened up. As you may know, I have a weird slow-moving (could get aggressive one day) sarcoma. And though I live with cancer, I do it in a healthy, harmonious way. In fact, as of my last scan, a handful of my tumors are smaller. Hip, hip cheers!
For many patients, cancer is no longer a death sentence. Really take that in. I would never say that life with cancer is easy, but it can be quite stunning and rich, even in the midst of the pain. In this blog I’m sharing eleven tips that have helped me feel better along way. I think they’ll be useful for you too. And I love you…
1. When the going gets tough, take a really deep breath.
This is the first (and most important) move you can make when the shit hits the fan. There will be endless ideas, advice, theories and medical bullying slung your way. Your breath is the gateway to your intuition, it will help you navigate the noise. Breathe and listen. Your breath also has the power to reduce stress (more on that below). When we’re in prolonged fight or flight mode, it’s hard to make decisions and easy to get depressed, anxious and exhausted. Breathe.
2. Find the best oncologist for your disease.
If I had listened to the first doctor, I wouldn’t be here today. Triple organ transplant? That’s just stupid. Thankfully I was willing to travel to find the best oncologist for my sarcoma. If you’re newly diagnosed (with any medical life lemon), I highly suggest you do the same. Your life is in their hands. Do they have experience and access to the latest research? Are they tapped into a network of colleagues who can talk about your case? Your local hospital probably won’t cut it. My oncologist at Dana Farber Cancer Institute understands all the current traditional treatment options for my disease. I still haven’t had any conventional treatment, but should my disease become aggressive, he’d be my first stop.
How to find an Oncologist: Start by Googling the top 10 cancer hospitals in the U.S. Also, use the resources below to explore the best oncologist for your specific cancer. In addition to these tips, network! I’ve found the best oncologists by speaking to my doctor, family, and friends.
Get 9 more of Kris’s tips here
National Cancer Institute’s Office of Cancer Centers
American Society of Clinical Oncology’s Cancer.Net Cancer Specific Resources
Cancer Treatment Centers of America (CTCA)
By Kris Carr
- Crazy, Sexy Tips for Cancer Patients - January 23, 2015