What wouldn’t you do to reduce all factors contributing to relationship stress in your life?
Disputes with the people we know or encounter often arise from the judgments we’ve made about them. It’s incredibly stressful to make assumptions that turn out to be incorrect, which almost all of them do.
When we point fingers and judge other people to be wrong, we experience frustration, disappointment, anger, anxiety, or other unpleasant emotions We also set up an “us vs. them” situation. Our reactions generate tension unhappiness. The majority of relationship stress is pretty damn avoidable, but it does require changing the way you think and operate.
The following practice helps you become aware of the judgments you make every day. By paying attention to how you judge others, you can reduce the stress you experience when dealing with other people and ease tensions with family members, partners, and coworkers.
- Notice each time you make a verbal or mental judgment about someone else. That idiot pulled right out in front of me! That woman is so fat, how can she let herself get that way? He’s stupid to believe that crazy idea…
- Notice each time you use these words: should, must, ought to, got to, have to, need to.
- Just observe what you say and think. Each time you catch yourself judging or criticizing someone, simply acknowledge it by mentally saying “judgment”.
- Don’t judge or blame yourself for having judgmental thoughts. In time, you’ll discover that you aren’t as quick to find fault with others. Your desire to change them becomes less. You can observe the people in your life without criticizing or judging them.
- Make this practice a part of your everyday life.
You’ll also find that your own stress level diminishes, as does the tension between you and other people.
Source from The Best Meditations on the Planet by Martin Hart (Fair Winds Press, 2012)
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