How do you get the raise, the corner office, the promotion, or the title?
By functioning in your masculine. It is our masculine that gets us ahead, provides security in our job, and earns a nice paycheck. In fact, even if we are at home, we are the CEO of the house meeting deadlines, organizing schedules, and managing events acting fully in our executive mode. But the feminine is expressed in such qualities as nurturance, light-heartedness, changeability, joyfulness, connection, and healing, to mention a few.
So, where is the arena for your feminine? Is it your kitchen when you are making a great meal for people you love, or your garden with beautiful flowers you have nurtured? Is it your interactions with your children or, even more, your grandchildren? Perhaps. However the important question is whether you can occupy your feminine with your man, your partner, your lover. It is in this forum where the spice of sexuality merges with feminine delight and radiance to enliven both of you.
So many of us are yoked side-by-side with our mates, pulling the sledge up the long, steep hill of life that we never look eye-to-eye anymore. We are focused on achieving the distant goal but not on maintaining our intimate connection.
As a couple, we are good parents, business partners, and community volunteers; we are the ultimate, well-functioning team, but no longer lovers. We have forgotten the zest of difference, the attraction of the poles of the masculine/feminine magnet the exciting tension of sexual essence, which enchanted us in the first place. This is worse for women because of the incredible emphasis placed in our society on the masculine traits of getting things done or operating in a linear, structured fashion.
All of these qualities are great of course, and I personally would never want to give them up. However, many years ago, after medical school, residency, being president of the medical staff and years of practice, I felt almost androgynous. I had “made it” in what was then the primarily male world of medicine, but what about my feminine? Where was she? Yes, I wore makeup and skirts and jewelry but I lacked the ability to let things flow, to change course, to revel in pleasure, to abandon my treasured to-do list.
Actually it was sex that awakened me and sex that I believe can awaken you. During a Hawaiian Tantra course over a decade ago with my husband, I began to feel how far I had drifted from my feminine core. And, because Tantra emphasizes that female sexual energy is life force itself, I could finally recognize my sexual radiance and arousal as fundamentally valuable to our well-being as a couple. So many women have disconnected from their feminine sexual radiance. The joy, sensuality, passion, generosity, mystery, and wisdom of being a woman seems so distant as we deal with demands and deadlines on a daily basis. And, if we do not feel those qualities, how can we offer them to our man? But sexuality is the perfect container for your feminine, for instance:
If you are with a man you trust, you can explore the teasing, smiles, and delight of the ing©nue feminine persona. You can jump onto him in bed or flash him while passing in the hall. Life is much too serious for most of us and sex allows for moments not encased in that cocoon of propriety.
Seduce him using just your body no words. In fact, planning a night where you are in charge sexually and he is just required to show up can be very exciting for both of you. There is power in passion!
It is a basic need of the masculine to be awakened to the juiciness of life. And here is the secret sexual interaction not only awakens the masculine but it gives the feminine energy. So when your dry masculine has been in charge and it meets your mate’s equally exhausted masculine, remember the spark and the zest of sexual exchange. Remember the power and pleasure of your feminine. Pay tribute to her flowers on your desk or in your home, sensual fabrics, the bath instead of the more efficient shower. Engage her sexuality; you will enjoy her and so will your man!
By Lana Holstein, M.D.
- Lana Holstein, M.D., is the Director of Sexuality and Vitality Programs at Miraval Resort, the author of Your Long Erotic Weekend, and founder of Partners, Pleasure, and Passion a couples sexuality enhancement program at Miraval. For more information visit www.HolsteinandTaylor.com
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