A few days ago, my husband and I decided to attend an afternoon showing of a new film, and were pleased that by the time the previews began to roll, the theater still had only a dozen other people in it. For some unknown reason, a couple who appeared to be in their early 30s”and who came in while the lights were still up”chose the seats directly in front of us, despite the wide open spaces that were clearly available.
During the previews, and directly before the film began, there were three separate full-screen announcements to please shut off cell phones and pagers, as a courtesy to others in the audience. I remember thinking how sad it was that anyone needed to be reminded of such a basic politeness. Pretty shortsighted of me, since once the film began, the woman in front of us proceeded to pull out her cell phone and make calls. At first, I was too surprised to even react. Several people made schussing noises at her, which she ignored. As the film’s soundtrack picked up in volume, so did the woman’s voice ““ and she could clearly be heard saying to the person on the other end of the line that she was having a hard time hearing, as the movie was so loud.
When I leaned forward to ask her to shut off her phone, she ignored me. And, despite the fact that I try hard to subscribe to Gandhi’s approach of resolution through non-violence, I have to admit, I nearly lost it. Apparently, the rest of the movie’s patrons seemed to share my outrage, and the situation was resolved a few moments later. And yes, without anyone coming to actual blows”but I’m still thinking about it. What on earth has happened to basic manners? It’s not just that people rarely even hold a public door open once they’ve gone through to keep it from slamming in the next person’s face, or think twice about whipping out in front of you in traffic as if the highway belongs to them”it’s a frightening breakdown in the recognition that for better or worse, our actions, words, and deeds have an absolute effect on other people. Apparently, even having the message delivered on a billboard-sized movie screen isn’t enough to get some people’s attention. My proposal for the coming year: Let’s all pay attention to how we move through the world, and try to do it with consideration and kindness.
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