New Relationship
Continued from our Retreat & Renew Daily Tip.
By Laurel House QuickieChick
There truly are plenty of fish in the sea. And that’s not always a good thing. Especially when it comes to how you’re going to stand out for the rest of them. Good news is- if you put a little effort into it, it’s easy. How?
Well let me tell you …
DO:
Bring something to the table- YOU!
Be interested in what he has to say. Be interesting so that he is interested in what you have to say. If he really doesn’t care about your point of view, if he blows off your contribution to the conversation, if he zones out when it’s your turn to talk, he’s not the guy for you.
Two important facets, is he interested and is he interesting. Let me explain:
Interested:
He is interested in you, what you have to say, what you do, who you are as a human. Why does this matter? Because he makes you feel important, which helps to boost your self-esteem and makes you want to continue to do interesting things and be an interesting human. It also makes you feel like you aren’t in a one-sided relationship with an egomaniac that loves to be interesting, but not so interested in you.
Interesting:
He is interesting. He does mind expanding things. He goes to eye-opening places. He has a career that you find intellectually stimulating and you actually want to talk and enquire about. He enjoys activities (that you can be incorporated in) that challenge and excite you. He has personal passions that you also find inspiring and would enjoy exploring.
Not sure what you can bring to the table?
Before you go on your date, think about interesting stories, lessons, experience, classes, places, foods, bits of knowledge that makes you different or interesting. What do they say about you? How have they helped mold you? How do they express your perspective? Write them down so that you remember them (obviously don’t read them out loud). Still not sure? Here are some thought-starters…
TRAVEL: Where have you traveled? What did you see? What did you learn? What was your takeaway from those experiences? Dig deeper than “I went to Mexico and had so much fun! We lay out on the beach all day and went to such fun parties at night!” Come on now… that isn’t that interesting. You have more depth. Dig it out.
SPORTS: Is there a sport that you are enthusiastic about, that you are involved in, that you follow? Were you a competitive ice skater from the age of 6? Great! What did you learn from that experience? Did waking up at 5am and heading to the rink each morning teach you about being a self-starter, being competitive with yourself, learning grace and poise? Because you spent your childhood at the rink, did you also watch the local team hockey players practice between your figure skating sessions? Do you love hockey because of the nostalgic feeling that it brings you?
MOVIES: Are you a movie buff with a passion for cult films? Have you seen Rocky Horror Picture Show 35 times and you have memorized all of the lines? What is it about the show that outsiders don’t know? Do you have a passion for drive-in movie theaters, not just for the movie-watching experience, but for the nostalgia?
FOOD, WINE & SPIRITS: Are you a “foodie?” Are you knowledgeable about wine and cocktails? Have you met chefs, hung out with cheese mongers, bonded with pastry chefs, spent weekends with winemakers, been to their wineries and watched the process from grape to cask to glass? Have you traveled to eat, discovered coveted dives and dined with celebrity chefs in their personal at-home gardens? Have you been on a white truffle hunt in Alba, Italy and went blackberry picking in Arkansas? What about cocktails? Are you into the herbaceous cocktail trend of putting savory herbs like thyme, oregano, and jalapeno into your mixes? Why do you think the trend has come to this? Do you have your own cocktail windowsill garden? How did you become interested in and learn about food, wine, and spirits?
It could be that none of the above pertain to you. And that’s ok. The point is to get you thinking about what makes you interesting, different, and stand out. Maybe have a few stories in your back pocket that people tend to enjoy, get a kick out of, or want to hear more about. Just like with any conversation, be aware of your audience, understand what he might find fascinating, and bring up those points. Probably not a good time to talk about your out-of-control Troll Doll collection, or your borderline obsessive need to watch every single episode of “Snapped… Women Who Kill” on Oxygen. You want to come across as interesting, not crazy.
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