Over the last year, if you had asked me how I was at any time, I would answer in my head that I was “actively trying not to die”.
And so the transformation begins:How a Comedian aka ‘Transformation Doula’ and A Never Lost Soul Worked Magic Together @kylecease #evolvingoutloud Click To Tweet
A sudden and unexpected collapse of my long-term marriage rocked my world, and I would tell you all about it now…except I made a commitment not talk about my divorce for 90 days on August 21st of this year. It was one of the final exercises Kyle Cease, comedian and “*transformation doula” had given his audience of over 1400 people to do during his Evolving Out Loud Seminar. This event has been growing at record speed and with die-hard followers showing up in droves, both in person and through the cyber channels, with one simple goal: to seek peace within themselves.
*I just invented this second title, ‘transformation doula”, because I honestly don’t know what to call him, and because he emphasizes that every single person can transform themselves (this should be bold, italicized and underlined). He helps “birth” the new you out with his amazing, yet very simple and somehow forgotten ideas. It’s like he is an aide, but you do the work. It’s all there, inside you already, and he helps ease it out into being.
Silence filled the Alex Theatre in Glendale, CA, as people were writing their commitments on cards, because not only did we all have to promise ourselves to follow through for 90 full days, but we also had to come up with a very painful punishment if we somehow slacked. I had wanted to write “I’ll meditate everyday for 2 hours”, or “I’ll eat super healthy”, because that was easy, something I knew I could do.
Since this was the second day of our two-day experience, my soul had gotten a louder voice, and practically screamed at me “NO MORE DIVORCE TALK!” I looked at my 15 year old daughter and asked her if she thought that would be a good one for me, and she nodded enthusiastically. With that, I handed her my card and said “ok then…you write my punishment.” Her eyes narrowed and she got the most evil grin on her face. Thinking, she looked left, then right, as her tongue danced on the edge of her lips. Fervently, she began to write. I held my breath. “If I break my commitment, I will dye my hair green, with real dye, not the temporary spray on kind. And I will wear purple contacts.” I erupted with laughter. We turned in our card to one of Kyle’s team members, and I almost fainted, wondering who I could possibly be without my sad, shocking story. What if I am a failure? What excuse will I have without my story? And worse, what if I flourish? Does that invalidate all of the pain and horror I experienced?
(it’s just me and my daughter here on a life-changing journey together)
The two days we spent at Kyle Cease’s Evolving Out Loud have totally changed my life.
Can you believe that? How willing would you be to believe that a caterpillar turns into a butterfly, if you didn’t actually know that was a thing or never witnessed it happening? This event shook me to my core. The first day lasted a week; not in the long, never-ending way, but in the we-learned-a-boatload-of-stuff way. The second day lasted a month. I wish I could explain to you what happened there, what was said, what was done. My daughter summed it up to one of her friends, “It was like we were on another planet. I just can’t describe it to you; I have no words”. There was no Kool Aid, there was no “kumbaya” being sung (although there were some super talented singers and an amazing hula hoop dancer!). There were a million funny jokes, moments that took our breath away, and a free flow of tears. At one point, there was even The Wave, spontaneously started by the audience to break some stress.
The only thing you can be sure of when you attend Evolving Out Loud is that it will be a completely original singularity, because it has not been scripted, and no one knows what is going to happen, not even Kyle, the guy leading the whole thing. Everything just flows from connection and creativity. In that, you realize you are safe. You are safe to screw up. You are safe to find things that are uncomfortable inside your heart and head, and love them anyways. You are safe to just BE. In that safety, you are free to expand. In that expansion, you grow, EVOLVE. In your evolution is peace, fulfillment, and love.
It’s been over a week since the event. I have changed. I have stopped being a frightened shell of a girl who lets herself be defined by other people’s thoughts and actions. I have transformed into a woman who knows her truth, who has found connection with herself and thereby discovered the deepest, most abiding love known to humans: love for oneself. This simple shift has filled me up and made me whole.
The best part is that this allows me to give so much more, because I am full and whole. I still encounter obstacles. I still experience negative emotions. But I love it all! I am no longer living in my past and can playfully and joyfully envision my future, while I am completely and fully immersed in the present. After my 90 days have passed, I can’t imagine going back to where I once was. I’m just too…light.
If you can’t make it to one of Kyle’s events, there is plenty of free content on his page www.kylecease.com. That’s where I had started. But you should go! The worst thing that can happen is you’ll meet 1400 like-minded people. The best thing that could happen is you’ll get diarrhea. You have to go to the show to get this joke. So… just … go!
By the way, I am in no way affiliated with Kyle Cease. I don’t work for him, I’m not related to him. I’m just a woman who had lost her way, and he eased me, along with 1400 other people, back on our paths to evolution and freedom. For this, I am eternally grateful. And still blonde.
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- Dear, Sweet Surrender: Sometimes I need a Big Rant before I re-learn Myself. - May 8, 2018
- How I Became Larger & More Powerful than my Monkey Mind. - March 18, 2018