Self-Care After a Breakup: Discover Your Sacred Sexuality



QUESTION: Coach Allana, it’s the Holidays and my heart is completely crushed. He broke up with me three weeks ago and I can’t shake this depression. I have to face holiday parties and family gatherings alone. I feel like such a loser, a failure… single AGAIN.

Coach Allana asks and tells it like it is …

First and foremost I am so sorry. Talk about timing. My love, I’m giving you a big hug right now, letting you know it’s totally OK to feel awful when something painful happens.

And three weeks is enough time to be tender and inward with ourselves… it’s time to ask what’s right about this? What’s the gift in this? How could this be for me not against me? Even now during the Holidays? Alone?

Ready for some sexy advice sister? Take a breath. I say embrace solo-sexuality with the Divine. Whah???

How many of us have had sex just because we were horny, or because we were so lonely we just wanted touch, or right after a breakup to prove we still “had it?” Or at least you know someone who did that… (smile)

The first thing to acknowledge is that we’re sexual beings, and thats not bad! That is wonderful! I mean look out the window, friends! Every bee, tree, and person got here through sex! Take away sexuality and it’s a barren land… How could something so pleasurable and powerful be bad?

And yet when we’re newly broken up, things get a little muddy and we can fall into the trap that just sex alone is going to fill the void in our heart. And while it’s certainly a momentary high, pure genital copulation alone has never made me or most of my clients have lasting fulfillment. And in fact, having booty calls now make us feel empty. Like a piece of meat not a work of art.  And so what is a healthy, sexual, sensual person to do?


Excuse me?

Well, at least it’s what’s worked for me and my clients and manifested the most extraordinary men we’ve ever met.

I teach my clients to self-pleasure and imagine they are making love with the Divine Masculine. I’ve counseled men to self-pleasure to various flavors of the Divine Feminine…and same-sex relationships are perfect as well!

I believe that ultimately on a spiritual level, there’s no one really out there anyway: just light. We are oneness and we meet aspects of ourselves through relationships. Thus, the sooner you start loving the man inside you, the woman inside you, your other half, to become ONE… absolutely open in your authentic, sexual, sensual, sacred expression, the sooner you can experience it in the real world!

At least that is exactly what happened to me. And my female and male clients around the globe.

You don’t need to wait to replenish, reconnect and reawaken your juicy factor. Experience the fullness, richness, and diversity of sacred dark and light sexuality with a Divine partner of energy. Have a good cry in their energetic arms. Allow the Divine to be the space for you to have you mirrored right back to you… beautiful perfectly imperfect you… keep expanding.

It’s exquisite. You’re exquisite. Even in your pain. Savor sacred sexuality for its own beauty. And watch how it creates the space for an extraordinary new relationship when you’re ready to choose that.

Deliciously yours, Allana xo


Intimacy Expert Allana Pratt inspires open-hearted living, with delicious sass. Featured on CBS, TLC & FOX, this cum laude graduate of Columbia is the author of 4 books, coach to celebrities, and host of the sexy empowering Podcast “Intimate Conversations”. Allana helps thousands who struggle with the fear of rejection. She teaches women that their vulnerability is what makes them sexy and shows men how to cure their ‘nice guy’ and become a noble badass. Allana’s devotion to helping her clients create hot, healthy intimate relationships is rooted in her own journey. She endured a brutal custody battle yet emerged more courageous, radiant and loving than ever. Allana’s joy for life is contagious. She savors motherhood and pole dances for pleasure. She inspires her clients to be unapologetically true to themselves, successfully date and find lasting soul-shaking love. 




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